Wednesday, March 25, 2009

"My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me." ~ Winston Churchill

Have you seen the below article?

If you have seen this, then you should know that it is a hoax. However, it is still fun to read, and I get a kick out of it each time.

Lately, I have been thinking of what my life will be like as a stay-at-home mom. Being at home is something I have dreamed for myself since I was a little girl. Yes, I know... it's not for everyone, but it's for ME.

Anyhow, here is my take on the article above:

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish!) is part of the warm welcome needed.

What I think: I plan my menus each Sunday for the week. So, yes, if I am not working late, I typically cook each night. Granted, it may not be ready when he's home, but it will get done. And, I am concerned about both of our needs. I don't want either of us to starve!

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people!

What I think: I don't think Bob considers his co-workers to be work-weary people! As a matter of fact, he enjoys his job and the people there. Oh, and I don't have any ribbons, so no help there. If I'm home all day, I do usually try to shower before he gets home though. And, how does one be "fresh-looking?"

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting to him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

What I think: A little gay? Geez! Ok, ok... this one is kind of easy. If my husband comes home in a bad mood, or has had a bad day, then yes, I'll be gay for him! I know he lifts my spirits up when I need it; so, why wouldn't I do the same for him?

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

What I think: I DESPISE clutter, so I am constantly doing this anyways. Enough said.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

What I think: No kids yet, but see #4.

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too! After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

What I think: Does handing him a nice, cold beer count?

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize the noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

What I think: Again, no kids yet... but, I would hope that I would wipe the boogers and crust off the baby as soon as I notice it! And, goodness, if one of us can live under the illusion that our children will be treasures, more power to us! As for minimizing the noise, most household appliances these days are quiet. And, he does the vacuuming - whew!

8. Be happy to see him.

What I think: Ha! I AM happy to see him. What an easy "request" to fulfill.

9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

What I think: Again, if one is happy, one will smile. As for the desire to please him... I think the labradoodle has that one under control!

10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

What I think: Ok, ok...this one is a toughie. I am not going to start nagging him the second he walks in the door. I know what it's like to come home from work exhausted. However, I don't think his topics are necessarily more important than mine.

11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

What I think: Other places of entertainment? Like what? A strip club!?! Ha ha! I encourage Bob to have "guys night" or activities, and he does the same for me. If anything, it's a chance for me to do what I WANT for the evening. However, we both know that this is an every once in awhile thing. Hey, we're homebodies. What can I say?

12. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

What I think: Well, d'oh.... who doesn't do this? For themselves too, of course!

13. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

What I think: Again, I hardly nag him, and I certainly won't do this the second he steps in the door. Perhaps, over dinner?

14. Don't complain if he's home late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

What I think: Bob stay out all night? When hell freezes over.

15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

What I think: Ok, ok, who's the pregnant one here?

16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing, and pleasant voice.

What I think: I can barely take off my shoes, let alone his. Oh, and if I changed my voice, I think it would freak him out.

17. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and, as such, will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

What I think: I might get slack for this, but I actually trust his judgement over my own. So, no, he's not necessarily the master of our home, but I certainly trust him to make most of the big decisions in our life. However, I do question him all the time!

18. A good wife always knows her place.

What I think: Couldn't agree more - right by my husband's side, as his equal.

So, what do you think of this list? Has the role of the wife changed over the years? Are you a June Cleaver, or a Claire Huxtable?


Kelly Becker said...

Ok, Jen, love the list and your comments. Too cute! As a request, please mark your calendar to re-do this list again with any "new" comments this same time next year. I would really like to see if there is any difference to some of these once the new one arrives. HeHe.....Can't wait to see you in April!

Shannon said...

by the time you have #4 the crusty boogers won't bother you too much, you'll just be glad to get everyone fed :) jk, you will be a great mom, seems like you are already a great wife!


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